me?

You are a SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a Dictator.

You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.

You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.

Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.

You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.

run, run into the light this time!

my weekend-1st season of vival la bam, church, band night at ramp n speed (www.slimsrampandspeed.com), josh...GREAT FUN! i feel like i should tell a bit about the 2 bands that stuck out to me the most. the first was a band from Canada and are on a 2 month tour right now. i didn't realize how popular they seem to be until i found some more info about em online, they're called The Goodbye Celebration and this is like an older site of theirs http://www.xrockandrollx.com/goodbye/ and here's another w/some of their music on it http://www.purevolume.com/thegoodbyecelebration . the other band was a band i've seen before(at the old ramp n speed, go figure), they're called Fixed Til' Tuesday-so AWESOME! they're from right over in birmingham and i highly recommend you chek them out, here's a link to their site http://www.fixedtiltuesdayrock.tk/ and here's a site w/one of their songs on it http://www.hxcmp3.com/bands/14965/ ENJOY!

hhhmm...interesting...

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||| 22% Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 62% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 62% Antisocial |||||| 26% Borderline |||||| 22% Histrionic |||||||||| 34% Narcissistic |||||| 30% Avoidant |||| 18% Dependent |||||| 22% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||| 74%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Attention everybody! we have a special guest! allow me to introduce Jay Vick, a victim of escalated temperatures to the flesh

well here it is-

"I have twice in my life, burnt myself in rather strange ways.....

1. The Hair Dryer Incident:

Once I had gotten out of the shower, I noticed that there were no clean towels. The only towel in there was very nasty and if I were to have used it, it would have been like I never took a shower to get clean in the first place. So, I decide to just use the hair dryer. All was going just fine until I got "down there." As I was drying "myself" my mom called from downstairs. Without thinking, I turned my body in the direction the sound came from. Thus, I stepped into the hair dryer and majorly burnt "myself." I was very tough to do certain things for about a month or so.

2. The Oven Incident:

I was cooking toast at my apartment once. I was wearing socks and my kitchen tile floor was somewhat slippery. As I opened the oven door to get my cheese toast out I slipped on the floor and went face first into the opened oven door. I burnt my chin and lower lip something fierce. Being in severe pain, I ran to the bathroom, filled the sink with cold water, and submerged my head in it. Suddenly, I realized I didn't take the toast out. I went back to the kitchen to find my cheese toast was completely charred."

*********for further reading about jay- http://jays-life.blogspot.com/

promise that forever we will never get better at growing up and learning to lie

wow!what a day!where to start...hhmm, the beginning i spose. well i had to get up uber early to go to the CIRCUS!w00t!i was kinda bummed cause ppl are so undependable these days ::coughMICHAELcough:: but alas, i had a wonderful time(w/out you!) and took bunches of pics(i'll prolly post some if i can lighten them up a bit). i highly recommend you go to the circus the next chance you get, you wont be let down!<-the good half of my day

so after we got home from the circus, the adult supervisor at the house left w/my sister(and i thought my brother also) to pick up her friend. me and my neighbor assumed we were the only ones at the house, turns out my brother was in the back yard and had decided to burn his old walmart deck because he got a new board for xmas. well my neighbor went outside in time to see my brother throw an empty raid can in his little fire and lean forward just as it exploded, thus burning his face and singeing his hair. the both came up and my brother assured me it didn't burn him bad(from what i could see it hadn't...) and went straight to the bathroom to put cold water on it as me and my neighbor walked outside to see the fire spreading a bit in my yard. so we ran and put it out...my brother also came outside and i actually got to see his face...it looked aweful...insanely red, right eyebrow half burnt off, ALL hair singed(didn't look 911 or hospital worthy though)...so i called the adult supervisor to hurry home and check it out...needless to say it ended up being an endless chaos between me in moody, my dad in bham, and my mom in north carolina(who is currently snowed in and wont be back down here till monday or so)...resulting in a brief trip to the ER,during which dr bhalla(hehe i thought he had a funny name) concluded they were first degree burns and there wouldn't be any scarring or anything and my brother now having an immense fear of fire...<-the bad half of my day

"Existentialism on Prom Night"-Straylight Run

"When the sun came up
We were sleeping in
Sunk inside our blankets
Sprawled across the bed, and we
were dreaming

There are moments when
When I know it and
The world revolves around us
And we're keeping it
Keep it all going
This delicate balance
Vulnerable, all knowing
(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit
Just a little bit
You would kill for this
(Sing like you think no one's listening)"

Existentialism-A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

i hate the power team, i am officially a shitty girlfriend

"if the devil wants to mess with you, he's gonna have to mess with us"

^the line that stuck out to me last night the most from the "power team"...hhmmm lame, i was not as fortunate as michael and did not manage to get out of it...that really just isn't "my thing" i guess, i personally was not impressed, but i'm not going to bash them or anything because thats their deal and i respect em for it...i am rather agitated though that they're at my school right now and i'm about to have to go watch them again by force in about 10 minutes...josh just got kicked out of my class cause he's sposed to be in the shop right now and thought it best to just sit in here with me for the 30 minutes before going to see the "power team"...he made it a good 10 minutesbefore my teacher noticed, it was pretty funny...

word to the wise

a printer just doesn't work right if a gum wrapper somehow gets lodged in it...

yay!my board! 

sex and candy?

well i'm in desktop publishing and yes ^^^ we just listened to that song...hhhmm...yesterday i watched the movie Cellular, it wasn't really that good; but the cell phone that its like based on is the one i originally wanted to buy...i've pretty much given up on my dad purchasing me a cell phone::sigh:: anyways...yay!today is friday!no school monday!::happy dance::<<<---not to be confused w/the "no pants" dance. so what does everyone have planned for the weekend?

You've got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat

the clumsy stupid idiot chronicles(i'm thinking about documenting my every day acts of clumsiness)
1. i managed to cut my finger open on the wooden part of my bedroom door this morning...i'm not even going to try to explain

well me and josh also made the most pointless trip to milo's ever today. i told him i wasn't hungry and he said he wasn't hungry, but neither of us wanted to go home so we went to get food anyways...i mean, did we think we were going to develop an intense hunger while driving/riding 5 miles down the road or something? i dont know, but we ended up sitting in the milos exit for 5 minutes discussing the bird that flew rather close to the car and whether we should go through with getting food or not and finally decided not to since he was supposed to be going straight home after skool anyways...

skyrockets in flight ::skyrocket noise::...afternoon delight! aaaaaaaaafternoon delight

well today was great fun, minus the skool part...though 2nd block i did make a total idiot of myself because every time she called on me, i had no idea what heck was going on because i dont effin know spanish dammit. i just dont, i'm trying to re-teach myself but thats going to take time, so for now-I DONT KNOW IT, just because i'm in spanish 3 doesn't mean i'm fluent enough in spanish to actually be in there! ok i'm dont w/that rant. on a happier note...i watched The Village earlier and i liked it alot...the blind girl was awesome but adrien brody kinda freaked me out, it was a good story though and the acting from all was excellent. well Haggard awaits me so i must depart!

Theres still a little bit of your taste in my mouth,Theres still a little bit of you placed with my doubt,Its still a little hard to say whats goin on

ok so my spanish teacher thinks that even though i havent taken spanish in 2 years that i somehow can be ready for spanish 3 through "reviewing a few chapters" by "tutoring" one of the smartest guys in school...ha; so in order to keep myself from looking like a TOTAL idiot(well actually i cant help that, making myself look like an idiot definitely comes naturally) and failing the class, i have decided to try to re-teach myself spanish...its not fun...i spent hours on like the first 4 chapters of our book(doing vocab and taking notes and whatnot), ugh! on a happier note, i did get to go to the mall and got 2 awesome shirts from hot topic (Deftones and Something Corporate, HECK YES!) and josh got 2 shirts(Taking Back Sunday and AFI) and a HIM pen...w00t for us!

as long as we're dreaming, everythings gonna be allright

ok so i didn't get to bed till 5 this morning(dont ask why, its not admirable on either part-especially mine)...then woke up at 6:15 to be taken to breakfast...i am rather amazed at how well i function without sleep, i dont physically slow down...just mentally, lol. i also found no time to sleep at skool(which is probably a good thing because i more than likely wouldn't have been able to wake up)...therefore, i came home, ate, and went straight to bed; but of course my sister came in at like 7 turning lights on and being extremely loud trying find clothes to go to some funeral w/my dad so i gave up on trying to sleep through that and came down here to kill time before she gets out...

wellp....

so yea today turned out nothing like i thought it would, at all...i'm not the least bit surprised though. here's the summary- 1st block, i made there and it went rather smoothly.... thats where my luck ends. i went to 2nd block w/michael like my schedule said to and i got in there and wasn't on the roll and the teacher said her schedule for me said i was supposed to be in spanish and that i didn't have a class 4th block. so i went to spanish and there was a sub in there and she almost sent me to the office but found my name somewhere, thank goodness; that class is ok, theres just not a whole lot of ppl to talk to. 3rd block i went to journalism and it sucked so freakin bad...there is NO ONE in there i talk to...words cannot describe how incredibly gay it is. then i went to lunch, and i have about 1 friend in there so that made 3rd block suck even more. 4th block i went to the office, seeing as i didn't have a class...and they told me i'd have to sit in there since they couldn't fix my schedule right then, as soon as i sat down-i was handed a phone and moved to someones desk and told to answer the phone if it rings-LAME! thank goodness a teacher took the phone for like 1/3 of the time...halfway through phone answering-me and another girl got sent to put mail in the teacher's boxes-4 MOTHEREFFIN BOXES FULL OF MAIL to sort into like 30 different little boxes, 2 1/2 boxes were junk mail too, ugh...amidst the mail sorting i did get a 4th block class-Desktop Publishing...so we'll see how that goes tomorrow. Lord, help me...please...

back to school, back to school, to prove to dad i'm not a fool

::sigh:: ok so i woke up extroardinarily early this morning(5:45) because i forgot to take my socks off before i went to bed last night. i think Our Lady Peace has a new song, if i heard correctly in my sleepless haze. today is day 1, semester 2 of my Moody High School experience(just to clear it up, i'm in 11th grade..that made me sound like a freshman). my schedule goes as follows:1)algebra 2 w/trig, 2)myths and fables, 3)journalism, 4)spanish 3(wtf, they dont even offer that class and put me in there). yea...HELP! don't let the 3 electives fool you! i suck at math, i havent had spanish since 9th grade(not to mention that was the biggest slacker class i've ever participated in), and i dont know where the puck the jounalism room is- seeing as its in the gym(somewhere). and to think, i was almost excited about skool starting back just so i'd have something to do...then i remembered i dont like about 90% of the other students...and we all know who else is going to be there(parking space numero tres)...yea...well say a little prayer for me as i return today to that big popularity contest some like to call high school. i'm sure i'll have an interesting story or two later today...

Emo...me...maybe?

I AM 51% EMO! Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater. Take the EMO test at Fuali.com

quote from "Porphyria's Lover"

ok so i want this to go in my profile but it wont let me put it there! aaahhhh!

an i dont want to live forever, but as long as i do i'd love to live for real

wow today was great fun! i woke up and drank my frappacino, those things have the craziest effect on me for real...like they of course give me energy and somehow that equals a good mood and some odd form of happiness. i went to the guad and then galleria w/farmer which was a great adventure in itself(from the "store de la whore" to the crazy pretzel inhaling feather hat guy), i finally bought that white studded belt i've been meaning to buy and michael talked me into buying ANCHORMAN, w00t!!!!!!! before i could eat a bite and watch my movie, nat called and we went to brookwood...which is kool cause we got to exchange xmas gifts and as far apart as we've grown, we still manage to be able to pick up right where we left off before the huge gaps of not talking/hanging out. her new car is pretty awesome(galant), and yes i gave her that really kool roxy sticker in the back window! we didn't have the best luck shopping...for example- after we left hot topic and went in pacsun, natalie realized that the hot topic guy didn't give her the discount he should have for her skirt and ran back in HT (while holding the shirt she was about to buy from pacsun!). she didn't realize she had SHOPLIFTED by accident until we were already in line in hot topic, so she like freaked and handed ME the shirt...so i briskly walked back to pacsun and of course their lame alarm went off(which is really like some mans voice talking so it wasnt like a siren, thank God)...there was only one guy in there other than me and he worked there so as i uumm walked in with the shirt, i told him that "my friend accidentally walked out with this", quickly placed the shirt on a random rack, and fled the scene of the crime. i returned to my place in like w/nat in HT, where we found out that she really just didn't read the receipt right and he had given her the discount. we then went back in pacsun, upon which she proceeded to buy that shirt she stole...only after trading it with the one the manaquin was wearing because it was a smaller size and the only one left, haha! ah, good times, good times! i think we set a record on 280 too, from the time we got on there, every light we came to was green except for the very last one...thats like 12 lights! hot damn!

this morning, on my frappacino high, i got to thinking...i'm trying to change my outlook on the josh situation ok-soon i'm going to be focusing alot on skool and those uumm those resolutions...so i'm not going to let all thats happened over the break get to me like it has been. from what i hear, it doesn't appear to be affecting him greatly(but he is very very good at hiding his feelings so i could be wrong);either way, for now i'm going to pretend its not, so if its not affecting him so much, why should it affect me so much? i know that if theres any way possible we can be together then we'll find it, but for now thats not happening. so yea, i still miss him like you wouldn't believe and pray theres a way, but thats all i can do and i'm ok with that. ::steps down off of soap box::

review continued

ok so last night it didn't post the last few lines in which stated i would continue writing today...so here it goes

Bands to remember-1)incubus, 2)guns n roses, 3)a perfect circle/tool, 4)the used, 5)breaking benjamin, 6)eve6, 7)him, 8)taking back sunday, 9)modest mouse, 10)k's choice

Movies to remember-1) Napoleon Dynamite, 2)Anchorman, 3)The Secret Window, 4)Home Room, 5)Kill Bill

Random things that made it suck-1)north carolina, 2)first major breakup, 3)religion, 4)all those damn rumors, 5)that one good fall off the skateboard, 6)taking drivers ed twice(yes in the same year...passed both times...), 7)losing best friends

Random things that made it awesome-1)moving back down here, 2)dad getting married, 3)smith lake, 4)turning 16, 5)skateboard, 6)making new friends, 7)that one awesome relationship, 8)incubus concert,9)2nd block art class, 10)3rd block anatomy,11)1st block english with rick and trevin

yea thats all i can think of now, i'll prolly add more later

2004 review

antagonists
1)mom(dont get me started)
2)stepdad(same goes for him)
3)natalie(since we started going to skool together, our friendship has deteriorated due to her social isolization except for being with frank, she's a totally different person and i hate it but i cant really do anything about it because thats the way she wants to live)
4)ed(being the first person to ever break up with me, though i should be thanking him because well i didn't know it but i needed to get rid of him)
5)michael( most of it is on this blog somewhere)
6)josh(mize)(i wont even tell that story)
7)corey(goes along with michael, dont want to explain)
8)brad(ultimate asshole)
9)josh's(h) parents(keeping us from being together)

protagonists
1)josh(henderson)(yea you know...)
2)michael(one of the best friends i've ever had, always there for me...no really, always lol)
3)natalie(before i moved back down and stuff, we were closer than ever...possibly best friend i've ever had)
4)dad & ana(i'm really glad i've gotten closer to my dad recently because we're a whole lot alike once you get past his umm irresponsibility streak, and ana is just an awesome person( i thoroughly enjoy talking to)...going over to their house and being around them is like therapy because theyre so happy and you cant help but be happy when your around them)
5)carol(she's pretty much my mom)
6)ryan(got me started on skateboarding, helped me through franklin, one the best friends i've ever had)
7)emily(lenski)(also helped me through franklin, close friend)
8)maranda(same as above)
9)ashley(always there for me, extremely understanding)
10)mr. johnson(best teacher i've ever had)
11)emily (webb)(had great fun working with over the summer and xmas play)
12)venice(had great fun working with)

summary-wow, its hard to believe that a year ago january -i was living in north carolina, and attending franklin high school(over 1,000 students...6 buildings, try havin all classes in different buildings lol). i was like the ultimate social outcast, there were 4 ppl i talked to regularly but thats what i wanted i guess, i hated every minute there; i think that was my way of rebelling because i was forced to move up there as punishment by my stepdad because neither me nor my siblings like him at all(the feeling is mutual though). february- my long distance relationship with my first "real" (if you can consider him that...i was later to find out he's possibly the most fake person i've ever come in contact with) boyfriend (ed) ended for no apparent reason, over the internet, through a friend. dont remember much of march-may, but i came down here over the summer where i had a job workin at my church's daycare and kept my youth directors kids to earn money and keep busy; which was awesome because i worked with wonderful ppl and learned many things-such as, me having kids(ever) is not a good idea. during the summer i also learned how to skateboard and play guitar. in august, i ended up permanently(::crosses fingers::) moving down here and now attend moody high school. now i have some ppl i like to call friends and seem to be more social than i was at franklin, i definitely feel more at home. got to know michael even better; but at the same time drifted away from natalie. dad got married in september. started dating josh in october, forcibly ended december...cant even begin to say how much that relationship has changed/taught me(i might explain one day)<<

hhhmmm "happy" new year?

i guess i should post to some resolutions seeing as it is January 1st, and i'll get around to doing a 2004 review later today prolly, i have alot of things on my mind so this list could possibly get long...1)religiously find myself, 2)start walking/running again, 3)start skateboarding again(now that i have some incentive), 4)start playing guitar again, 5)get my license and start driving more(which includes learning how to drive a 5-speed), 6)get a job(?), 7)dye my hair a decent color(damn roots are showing again), 8)learn how to wake-board, 9)pass 11th grade(2nd semester 4th block-SPANISH 3 AAAAHHHH!)
ok so thats all for now..."theres alot more where this came from"(napoleon dynamite, lol)