...

every guy is a chauvinist at heart

Dear Elin,

i miss you and your blog and your myspace.

<3
madison

"I Believe You, but My Tommy Gun Don't"
Brand New

im heaven sent,
dont you dare forget.
i am all you've wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i think in decimals and dollars.
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kinda song that ignites the airwaves.
the kinda song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about,
who i dont wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something
they cant diagnose, dont have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge.
oh its so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
cuz you cant keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didnt wanna get caught..

we're concentrated on falling apart.
we were contenders, not through in the fight.
i was just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth,
we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
hansome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscles on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if i could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
your holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always hafta be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, to let it go..

we're concentrated on falling apart.
we were contenders, not through in the fight.
i was just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrated on falling apart.
we were contenders, not through in the fight.
i was just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

this is the craze that only we can bestow.
this is the price you pay for loss of control.
this is the break in the bend,
this is the closest of calls.
this is the reason your alone,
this is the reason you breathe.

we're concentrated on falling apart.
we were contenders, not through in the fight.
i was just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrated on falling apart.
we were contenders, not through in the fight.
i was just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

so tonight...the dump truck labeled "life", full of lemons...ran over my face

ok so this is officially my favorite shirt ever

guys fighting over a girl is stupid. the end.

"Stay" Blue Merle

"I got a picture of you
And some letters I carry 'round
It's the way that I get you
To stay with me
Nothing's forever
Nothing is ever gone
And we ain't together
But you stay with me

Stay with me
Stay with me"

9/19/05

wtf

::points at my hair:: "hair like that looks good on some people, but not you...."

tell me people, is there really a way to turn that first statement into a complement?

because i dont think so

but someone tried to convince me tonight that it's possible

funniest conversation of today

"and (insert name of star athlete football player), where were you yesterday?"
"what was yesterday?"
"sunday"
"church, why?"
"not w/your team, cause they were at my church"
"oh, i went to a different church"
"i see"


minutes later


"wait a minute, you go to church?"
"yes, have my whole life"
"wow, i didn't know that"


do i give off the "bad kid" vibe?

the piano man is staying at my church

my church is being used as a shelter for hurricane refugees, theres been a rather interesting array of people stay there...

my favorite one so far came saturday night. he was the music director at a methodist church down in new orleans. me and a few friends walked in on him playing the piano in the sanctuary saturday night. he was playing my favorite hymn ("it is well w/my soul") and it was really pretty and my youth pastor made a joke about him being the "piano man" and he broke out into that song. yeah, he's definitely the real deal.

the gossip in the world of madison

i wasn't going to go into details but, i'll summarize the ditching story.

but first you must know, a few of my dating rules include that the male prospect...
be a christian
not smoke(words can't describe how avidly against it i am, it also makes me sick)
not drink(excessively, or underaged)
not dip/chew(thats just disgusting)
not be in a band(preferrably have no musical talent at all)
must be on same intelligence level or above mine
education is a must(high school degree minimum)

rules number 2, 5, and 6 were broken intensely by prospect # 1, 7 was questionable

but i gave him a chance because he was nice, seemed innocent and unable to hurt me, and he has an industrial like mine
thus the first date was set

date 1 friday night-exorcism of emily rose

Friday
4:30-phone call from P-1 saying he didn't have enough money to see a movie but we could still hang out at his house, which of course i said was fine with me; he was about to play guitars w/his friend and would call in a "little while"
4:45-i call him back to say that i'll pay for the movie and we can double date w/guy friend 1 and his female friend at the 7:10 showing, but his phone has no service
4:45 to about 6:30- i continue to call his phone and he continues to have no service
6:30- i realize we wouldn't have enough time to meet up make it to the show on time so i give up
6:30- guy friend 1 cancels plans and stays at my house to hang out
8:45- receive call from guy friend 2 saying he's close and wants to talk to me...minutes later, shows up
9 or so- guy friend 1 heads home
few minutes after 11-receive call from P-1 and this is about how the phone call goes(me= bold)
"hey"
"hey"
"me and my buddy kinda got carried away playing geetars, time just slipped by"
"hhmmm"
"are you mad at me?"
"well, i'm definitely not happy. would you be mad if you were in my situation?"
"uuuhh, yeah"
"ok then, this is why i don't date guys in bands"
::sensing a bit of attitude:: "i guess i will talk to you later"
"ok bye"
"bye"

but we're going to learn from this one...

i got stood up.

no title

For now you sit alone
Inside your desolate room
Head bandaged and heart bruised
The medicine gives you insomnia
But supposedly boosts your mood
You yearn for sleep
To meet her in your dreams
To visit the memories
But sometimes you'd rather stay conscious
Because it's never fun to wake up
With tear stained cheeks
Or worse, uttering her familiar name
You'se spoken so many times before
When life was a little brighter
But still far from perfect
On those lonely forsaken nights
When you can't even meet her in sleep
You write her letters laced with love
And sonnets stained with solace
All the while asking yourself
Will she ever so much as glance at this?
Will she ever so much as glance at me?
As you continue to compose
I pray it not in vain

madison newport

my first real "dead letter" in this dead letter box

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

<3

Good ole Southern Rock

http://www.myspace.com/mayleneandthesonsofdisaster

letter from a dear friend

To whom it may concern,

My name is Josh Henderson. I am just addressing you as a sort of reminder. I know you've all heard phrases like, "hold on to the ones you love," or, "you never know what you have till it's gone." I can't force the realism of these, or any such statements, into each and everyone's heads, all I can do is reiterate such cliche statements, fully realizing for myself why they are said in the first place.

One year ago today I lost my best friend. My best friend also just so happened to be my older brother, Jake. I looked up to him and we did everything together, up until he moved out. Though he was out of the house, we still kept in close contact; we worked close together, and he didn't live that far away. I would visit him every day at his job after I got off from mine, and I would often hang out at the place were he lived. I could talk to him about ANYTHING and he would be so tender, so compassionate, and loving, always helping me and many others through various trials. Many of Jake's friends and co-workers would also come to him when they were down. What's more, Jake was quite perceptive and could tell if something was bothering someone, not needing an approach. If he sensed that you were troubled, selflessly he would try to uplift and encourage you, though not realizing that it was he who needed the help. Myparents would try to reason with him, but Jake was stubborn and did not take heed, this ultimately cost him his life. Losing someone that close to me made a huge impact on my life. I no longer had a best friend, I no longer had someone to talk to as intimately as I could Jake, and most importantly, I no longer had a big brother.

Shortly after my brother's suicide, (about two weeks) I decided it was time to try to move on with my life. I went back to work, and went back to school. One day during my lunch break at work I recieved a phone call from a friend. His tone was ominious with sketchy audibility. He had called to inform me that after a high school football game (to which I was originally invited) he and one of our friends attended, out friend was murdered. Having only been a few weeks since the death of my brother, this struck me hard! The viewing was indeed a difficult one.

As I initially stated, I am just trying to get a reminder out that the people you love won't always be around. Sometimes they are only around for a short time, then they are out of your life completely. Just like with anyone you love, love them every day as if it were their last, because one day it will be. In conclusion to those of you pateint enough to have read my entire passage, I leave you with this overstated cliche:
Hold on to the ones you love, otherwise, you'll never know what you have until it's gone!

In loving memory of Jacob Henderson, and Jonathan Bryant.

-Joshua Henderson

picture update

the current story of my life((school))



o yeah, i got a new piercing too((industrial))

why fight it?

2 nights of RED HALO


(picture taken at last nights show)
Erath-bass player for Red Halo
(by far the coolest musician i have ever met)




me and hanna and red halo
(at the show 2 nights ago)


www.myspace.com/redhalo
www.redhalomusic.com

je vous manque

"Everything is alright
I will see you tonight
Everything you want
is in your hands
And I can't help you decide
The battles you fight inside
and what hurts you
you don't understand"

"Favorite Song"
Nine Days

my brother swallowed a quarter today
he is age __3

(A.0, B.1, C.2)













Answer: B.13

what i found in the women's bathroom at wal-mart today

a seemingly homosexual, slightly stunned, middle-aged, closer to elderly, soon to be embarassed, man on a cell phone

best present ever thanks to rainbow sunshine

one boy, on girl, two hearts, their world

hey daddy, look i found a treasure, daddy, look at this, hey daddy, i found a treasure daddy, look daddy, i found a treasure, its a treasure daddy, i found it, hey daddy, a treasure, look, a treasure daddy, hey daddy, look at this treasure, daddy, i found it, its a treasure daddy, look daddy, hey daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, i found a treasure, look daddy, its a treasure, hey daddy, look at this treasure, look daddy, its a treasure, i found it, hey daddy, daddy look at this, its a treasure, daddy, i found it.




YOU LOSE!

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and for my final "josh post"

"who's crying now"
journey

It's been a mystery
And still they try to see
Why somethin' good can hurt so bad
Caught on a one-way streets
The taste of bittersweet
Love will survive somehow, some way

One love feeds the fire
One heart burns desire
Wonder who's cryin' now
Two hearts born to run
Who'll be the lonely one
Wonder who's cryin' now

So many stormy nights
So many wrongs or rights
Neither could change
Their headstrong ways
And in a lover's rage
They tore another page
The fightin' is worth
The love they save

One love feeds the fire
One heart burns desire
Wonder who's cryin' now
Two hearts born to run
Who'll be the lonely one
Wonder who's cryin' now

Only so many tears you can cry
'Til the heartache is over
And now you can say your love
Will never die

Whoooooa-oh-whoa
Whoooa-oh
Ooooooh-whoa, ooh-whooa

One love feeds the fire
One heart burns desire
Wonder who's cryin' now
Two hearts born to run
Who'll be the lonely one
Wonder who's cryin' now

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day -- and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel -- to take flight --

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
But he washed me shore and he took my pearl --
And left an empty shell of me

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

is this the real life?is this just fantasy? 

It would be so fine to see your face at my door

things i learned this weekend:

-cheap bastards are the best
-chandler is the most intelligent dog in the world
-fred jones is the friendliest passenger ever, he'll give you the clothes right off of his back...or in my case, ass
-if ever in a river w/duran, DON'T stand downstream
-people are 10x friendlier to you in public if you have a dog
-tiger, georgia is so small that a portion of the road doesn't even have lines painted on it
-mr2's have factory amps in the door
-pink nails are hott
-flea markets that sell records make my day(Carole King "Tapestry")
-tiger, georgia has a really cool looking drive-in(but the double feature does NOT start at 6:30)
-the hardcore mix is perfect for good moods
-when introducing yourself to someone, it is proper etiquette to include whether or not you've done time in jail, and if so how long and why(example "hi i'm ________, i spent ______ in jail for _______________________________________________________________")
-light-up heart necklaces are awesome
-there are some slides at the park you just shouldn't slide down
-those that are safe to slide down are even more fun when theres someone waiting for you at the bottom
-joe baretta is one of my heroes
-surprises make me wish it was friday
-hurricanes will cut your trip short
-duran wood is one of the most amazing people alive

jus thought i'd share my 4th of july experience in video form

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=fireworks14

he now has a huge gash on his cranium

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=concussion

i miss my long hair!aaahhh i have nominated this the best pic of me ever. colorsplashed of course

thunder only happens when its rainin

today upon arriving at work, i met josh in the parking lot; saying he left me a package but had to leave immediately. thats the first i've heard or seen of him since his mom read his journal last thursday and found out we were still together. almost thought that last call he was allowed to me was it. so i guess folks, the saga of joshua and madison continues...

i came into work and was told that we had had an anthrax scare and i had just missed the police and fbi

apparently while laying out the mail before lunch, a few of my co-workers discovered an envelope leaking a white powdery substance. the person who discovered it immediately threw it on the floor, only for another coworker to pick it up and OPEN it. after reading the letter which stated "as you are reading this, a deadly poison is seeping into your skin...you're symptoms will be...may the weary rest in peace" she threw the letter back on the floor and they called 911. after a while they determined it was a food-based substance(which we would later scrape out of the mail box and decide it was baking soda). a few hours later we got a call saying the FBI went to the girls' house in Hokes Bluff and found the letter saved on the computer. their brothers the culprits.

sing me something soft, sad and delicate

monday
mission-restock pool bathroom toilet paper
outcome-failure

what can i say? i got a little too proud i guess. i thought i could handle one stall,by myself. restocking toilet paper is easy-unlock dispensing contraption, take out mini roll of toilet paper, replace with new roll, close dispensing contraption. i failed at step one, i didn't put the key in all the way so when i went to turn it, it flew out. all 6 keys, 2 key rings, and one key chain fell. into t.h.e.t.o.i.l.e.t. and of course the first words out of the mouth of my fellow toilet paper stocker were "haha you're so getting those". so with gloved hands, i stole the mini air pump and used the handle to fish them out. wrapped them in the gloves and brought them back to the kitchen to show their owner, also my boss. me and the fellow stocker put them in a bleach solution(which was really like 4 parts water, 1 part bleach). about 20 minutes later my boss drew our attention to the bowl of keys and now key flakes. 00ps.

day 6 of work-i desintigrate boss's keys.

on a happier note, i got my first hair compliment from a camper. it was nice, till i remembered she had been in the hot sun all day. must have been delirious. o well...

You break my heart into a thousand pieces and you say it's because I deserve better?

wow its been a crazy week!i started my first real job ever on Monday!yay!i now work in the kitchen at a local camp.basically what i do-sweep, prepare food, prepare dining hall,wash dishes, sweep, mop. but you see,when i volunteered for this job, they left the "prepare food" part out.and that part is very important, seeing as i can't cook, never have been able to. i. just. can't. do. it.which is why today, i'm sure some poor girl consumed a nice chunk of latex glove with her taco salad, blends in nicely w/onions.it didn't seem to choke her, so i guess it'll soon just be lodged in her colon.a thousand appologies to this poor girl w/latex in her colon.my friend lost more chunks of her gloves than i did, in the tomatoes.the thing that sucks the most though is being on my feet for like 7 hours straight.the chucks just aint cuttin it. the best thing though, is that this place buys top brand food and all the leftovers are split among those in the kitchen.though now,i feel like i wear the pants in this household now or something because i've brought home loads of dinner all week.tomorrow i will be filling in for my mom 9-1 at a daycare and then camp 2-about 9.it shall suck.hardcore.

...3 strikes...you're out

we got caught again, we lose

drafted into vbs

day 1, what a way to kick off the week

i dug a bead out of a 3 year old's nose, enough said

the most humbling experience

june 9, 2005,brookwood hospital, room 492
a woman in her mid 40s is lying in the bed that takes up most of the space in the room. beside her, a 20 year old boy sits across from a 16 year old girl, a small table separating them. on the table sits a few sheets of paper, a cup of water, watercolors, lots of brushes, and a camera. the boy and girl paint pictures and casually talk, passing the time. they get bored and begin to apply the brilliant colors to eachothers faces. rainbow eyes, bright red lips...murals of whatever they feel at the moment. enjoying every minute of it, they finish the facial masterpieces they have created on eachother, marvel at them and approach the woman in the bed. holding in giggles, they strike a pose as the woman begins to smile and the smile turns into laughter....and nothing in the word matters anymore

the woman in the bed is the greatest woman i have ever known. a daughter, a mother, a wife, and a best friend of my own mother since high school. she has a personality like no other, an indescribable sense of humor. one of a kind this woman is, even a brief encounter with her could impact your life. i proudly bear her middle name as my own. she's living breathing medical history. born with a congenital heart disease, causing her to recieve her first pacemaker while in high school. an experiement, the latest technology of the time; i hear government officials brought it into the operating room themselves in a briefcase. a few years later, she became the first woman to ever give birth while wearing a pacemaker. she didn't give birth just once, but 4 times. the first, a girl, a miscarriage; the rest boys and all alive and well to this day. due to her disease she's had many medical problems over the years. a constant sufferer of ms for one. a few years ago she had a stroke that would forever change her life and that of those around her, including myself. the stroke paralyzed her entire left side. but nothing can stop this woman, she once again amazed doctors by learning to talk and walk near normal. since then her health has begun to deteriorate. to the point at which the paralysis is taking over and she is now in and out of the hospital...

i am of course, the girl, and her 2nd boy is the one sitting across from me. he's the closest to me age-wise, of the three. this is the one you could always find me with on those lazy afternoons spent exploring the yard, swimming in the the pool, or just watching tv. this is the guy that taught me how to climb a doorway and convinced me that bubbles tasted good(until i tried them myself of course, only to find quite the opposite).i think he was actually in the hospital when i was born. to this day, he still knows my deepest secrets and i his. no matter how old we get or how far we become, all it takes is a phone call to restore that friendship that is forever ours. he is the only one that can make me laugh at any time; and its not just a laugh, its this laugh that takes me back to when we were kids,theres no way to describe it other than the best kind of laugh there is...

they guy i have seemingly fallen into the closest my little teenage mind can to love has decided that he can't be in this relationship anymore and is leaving me. he is my number 1 confident so i'm turning here to write down a few thoughts.this guy i've grown so close to, closer to anyone i've ever been in my life; this guy who's had such an impact on my life, who's helped me become a person i never thought i could be, who's loved me unconditionally, who's forgiven me numerous times, who's never left my side (even if he didn't agree with me),who's never lied to me,who's looked me in the face just about ever day for the past 8 months w/nothing but love in his eyes...is leaving me because:

1)On December 25, for the past 16 years, i've woken up and opened presents
2)On February 14, for the past 16 years, i've given many valentine cards, received many, and lots of candy
3)On Easter, for the past 16 years, i've gotten candy and whatnot, and mourned/celebrated my Lord and Savior dying on a CROSS and raising from the dead for my sin
4)On St. Patrick's Day, for the past 16 years, i've worn green and been proud of my Irish heritage
5)On July 4th, for the past 16 years, i've shot fireworks from my front yard and enjoyed every minute of it
6)On July 31, for the past 16 years, i've gotten "happy birthday" sang to me, blown out candles, ate cake, and opened presents
7)On October 31, for the past 16 years, i've dressed up as something i'm not and more often than not gone trick-or-treating
8)On Thanksgiving, for the past 16 years of my life, i've been surrounded by loving family i usually dont get to see and eaten a wonderful meal
9)I've always believed that Jesus was crucified on a cross, not a stake
10)I've always believed that theres a chance in heaven for everyone, not just 144,000(thats the number of completion)
11)I've always believed that you don't have to be a certain denomination or religion to be truly saved
12)I've always believed in the Trinity
13)The leaders of my church have titles
14)We also sprinkle, not immerse
15)I also, personally, believe we are in no position to suspend(disassociate) someone from a church because of their sin,a sin is a sin(this one really gets me); you want to encourage someone to come to church especially when their sin is getting the better of them
16)I more often than not refer to God as "God" or "Lord" or "Heavenly Father", though i have nothing against the name "Jehovah" and have used it before
17)I don't think it is wrong to date outside your religion,as long as you don't ge to caught up in the opposite person's
18)I dont think you should disassociate yourself with a person because they got kicked out
of a church

These are the reasons my emotionally drained, sleep deprived brain can come up w/at the moment...there are more i'm sure.I probably stepped on a few toes, comment as you wish, i want feedback, lots of it. This is just all i have on my mind right now.

I'm sorry for.... every time he blatantly lied to his parents to hide the fact he was with me, the fact he's lead a double life to be with the person he loves, every guilt trip he was put on for being with me, any/every way i've led him astray....

I'm not sorry for...every day we spent together, every glance, every touch, every kiss, every promise, every laugh, every tear, every whisper, every yell, every "i love you"

yeah

so i've been working at this daycare program at my church and the kids have moments(as all do) and i thought i'd share this one...we have 2 sets of twins, and one day these two boys were discussing a set of those twins(how to tell whether they were twins or not). this is the reasoning of future america- "they have to be twins because they're both wearing pink shirts"

number 5 and 8 hit me really hard...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Madison, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant with a balanced preference for auditory and visual inputs. Because of your "centrist" tendencies, the distinctions between various types of brain usage are somewhat blurred.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor, unless it requires total spontaneity and ability to improvise, your weaker traits. However, you are far from rigid or overcontrolled. You possess a degree of individuality, perceptiveness, and trust in your intuition to function at much more sophisticated levels than most.

Having given sufficient attention to detail, you can readily perceive the larger aspects and implications of a situation or of learning. You are functional and practical, but can blend abstraction and theory into your framework readily.

The equivalence of your auditory and visual learning orientation gives you two equally effective sensory input systems, each with distinctive features. You can process both unidimensionally and multidimen- sionally with equal facility. When needed, you sequence material while at other times you "intake it all" and store it for processing later.

Your natural ability to use your senses is also synthesized in your way of learning. You can be reflective in your approach, absorbing material in a non-aggressive manner, and at other times voracious in seeking out stimulation and experience.

Overall you tend to be somewhat more critical of yourself than is necessary and avoid enjoying life too much because of a sense of duty. You feel somewhat constrained and tend to sometimes restrict your expressiveness. In any given situation, you will opt for the rational, and learning of almost any type should be easy for you. You might need certain ideas explained to you in order to fit them into your scheme of things, but you're at least open to that!

Withdrawn (I) 72.73% Outgoing (E) 27.27% Imaginative (N) 57.14% Realistic (S) 42.86% Emotional (F) 63.89% Intellectual (T) 36.11% Organized (J) 57.5% Improvised (P) 42.5% Your type is: INFJ You are a Guide, possible professions include - career counselor, psychologist, educational consultant, special education teacher, librarian, artist, playwright, novelist/poet, editor/art director, information-graphics, designer, HRM manager, merchandise planner, environmental lawyer, marketer, job analyst, mental health counselor, dietitian/nutritionist, research, educational consultant, architects, interpreter/translator.

Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Boobies

i should really start updating more often. maybe i will, now that summer is here and i'll have alot of spare time. i mean really...today is my first official day of summer; so far i've been to the school(i've tried to get out of there for over a decade and on my break i go back) to sign up for classes next year(SENIOR YEAH!!!!) and my minor case of OCD has been cleaning my room for the past 2 hours. i actually decorated my walls since josh gave me an Anchorman(= AWESOME) poster yesterday and i've been wanting to hang up some records(The Eagles-Hotel California and 2 by Journey) anyways.

As for my title-on our last project in desktop publishing, me and a friend included sentences about my boobs and turned them into one of our most uptight teachers expecting to get suspended or atleast detention...but we didn't and it was funny...imagine "so madison, why did you get suspended back in the 11th grade?" -"boobies"

yea, i stole it too elin

Emo Kid You are 28% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, emotional, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being. Your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Smartass. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist. * *

update

wow its been a while, sorry guys. guess i should catch up a bit. so the act-after my somewhat tramatizing experience i ended up making a 23, i'll take it again in june cause i can do way better. let's see...i attended prom. that was really, really awesome. i'll post pics when i get them. nothing tremendously exciting has happened to me lately. last wednesday night i went to a mental health fair type deal in birminghan called "mind's eye". it was more of a tribute to famous people w/mental disorders that accomplished great things(such as john lennon, ray charles, sheryl crow...etc).that was exciting. i'll post more later

Accidentally Caught Terets

today i took the ACT for the first time. ACT=LAME! i got like sick halfway through it so i think i failed reading and science. all the science was chemistry, and i havent taken that yet, so i did really really bad on it. i also managed to get the only desk w/the rusty,loose, squeaky basket...which i incidentally ummm kicked in the middle of the reading test. it was beautiful, i think the whole room kinda jumped-i know i did.

yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of me and josh's first date. w00t!

"We have to prove
That our love is real over and over again
But let them think what they want
I know it will never end
Because I know where it began
And my heart still heart still pounds twice as fast
Whenever you walk by
Cause I still love you"

"Silence"
Blindside

let's set our hearts at self destruct...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so today was rather eventful, i'll list:

GOT MY COLORSPLASH!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!

FOUND OUT I CAN GO TO 6 FLAGS TOMORROW!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!

GOT CALLED TO THE OFFICE AT FRANKLIN HIGH SCHOOL IN FRANKLIN, NORTH CAROLINA(that in itself is funny, thats where i went to school last year) FOR MISS TEEN AMERICA SOMETHIN OR ANOTHER!!!!!HAhAHAhaHAhaHA!!!!!!!!!!

o yea, i also got to buy michael icecream and watch him get his haircut because he got accepted into alabama!woohoo! yay michael!!!

"Tonight I have become the gossip and the choir.
The useless and the used.
The one who reaches for her(OR HIS) arms.
I am denial."

"Sound of Sulfer"
The Bled

w00t!

Note:

Your package is in the UPS system and is on time with a scheduled delivery date of Apr 5, 2005.

i'm not a miracle, and youre not a saint...

sorry i havent been posting alot lately...just havent felt like it. i have a page on myspace now too. my friend's sposed to be on his way over here to watch napoleon dynamite, but i dont think he's coming. me and josh are still apart, i still hate it,and i would still get back with him if given the chance. i decided to take my prom dress back, seeing as i dont have a date at all, and am not going to find one worth going with while wearing a dress i paid that much for. so i found the receipt and at the bottom of it was stamped in BIG BOLD RED letters "NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES, NO EXCUSES". but after much negotiation and telling of my saga (stupid teenage girl goes and buys overly priced dress w/out parental consent, gets broken up with and doesn't want to go to prom now), they say i can bring it back. we have to drive like an hour and a half to get there. we walk in and the old, decrepit, senile woman behind the counter gives us a look like she wishes us to die right then and there. we walk up and say we called about bringing a dress back...etc...w/out saying anything, she takes the dress to the back and takes the plastic bag off of it and i guess makes sure i didn't wear it or somethin. she comes back around and throws the bag in a chair and sits down to write the check. before she begins to write she has the nerve to insult my intelligence by saying "teens these days are so illiterate" as she points at the sign behind her that states "no refunds, no exchanges". i would have said somethin to her about it if she wasn't writing me a check at the time. i'm dressless and dateless and natalie still wants me to go to prom-if i find a dress, she'll find me a date...already have a prospect. so anyways, i got my money and have already spent some of it. sry elin i totally copied you and bought a colorsplash. if you havent bought yours yet-dont buy it from the lomography site, they have em for $52 at amazon. i was going to get the holga but you have to special order the film-GAY. o yea, this is funny-one of my friends exes (aka "the crazy bitch", yes that is what she is known by) has decided that she wants to like beat me up because i'm apparently trying to "steal" him from her. 1) theyre not dating, 2) i dont even remotely have feelings like that for him, 3) i'm not a violent person, in fact i'm prolly one of the least violent ppl you'll ever meet...its not worth it to even try to pick a fight with me, so dont try. well thats about my life right now...hope you enjoyed it...sry so boring

i'm gonna get massacred for this one, have at it guys... october 8-march 24

to the most amazing yet disappointing relationship yet. to the most amazing yet disappointing guy i've known yet. you will be missed, but i'm moving on. "our" song...in memory of "us".

"Open Arms"-Journey

Lying beside you.
Here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat
With mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love
Be so blind

We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

love or lust or a combination of the two...hell, maybe neither

a little math for ya, on spring break and everything

m=madison/methodist
j=josh/jehovah's witness

m+j= religously illegal relationship, lots of punishment from the parents, some good times, best friends if you will

mx+j=happy, successful relationship; approval from j's parents
m+jx=happy, successful relationship; approval from m's parents

x=1/2 (the 1/2 being the religion part)

but this m's not x'n and that j's not x'n either so now

m+j=nothing

yay baby chicken!!!! 

dont count your chickens before they hatch 

we used a super hot straightener too, like the way it makes my layers look. 

you prolly cant tell, but its a few shades lighter on top and a few shades darker underneath. i like it. 

This is only one,Temporary find,I'm sure before too long,You will change your mind

this was just given to me a little while ago, it was written by the three of us in 1st block clothing design during the first semester of our sophomore year. i feel like posting it becase i'm on a poetry tangent. every line of that has a different meaning. good times, good times.

Weasle Furrow

I chopped off my pinky toe
it makes me giggle
sometimes I call my dog Moe
this song is so figgle
no more horizontal lines!!
silly rabbit
... you know I like you in those "jeans"!!
such an evil habbit
Jesus Jones
I saved my first waff for you
no bones
I'm a chicken moo!
triad x 2 = Jew!! (x3)
khaki purse fading
curse the H's
comiserating
screw the wages
buy no goldfish
crackers took over
make a wish
here's a leafless clover
fingernails broken
harry potter glasses
chuck-e-cheese token
backstage passes
I'm an oxymoron
the antelopes fly free
5th element is boron
the weather affects my knee

Composed by:
Madison Newport
Maranda Ashe
Emily Lenski

will you be my cyanide catharsis?

this is the first free verse poem i've ever written. i wrote it last night as a last minute thing to have something to turn in with my literary magazine application. feel free to take a guess at what its about, theres an interesting story about it. guess what?, i am now a member of the 2005-2006 Between the Lines Literary Magazine staff , w00t!!!!

Cellular Breakup

A device with evil mechanism sits next to me

It has the power to control my feelings

With every button there’s a portion of a curse

But it’s only a tool in your master plan

Through the screen you portray your plot

Held to my ear, the steps are implanted

With each ring, I become more seduced

Your scheme is so careful, check before send

I’m so close to giving in, but not quite yet

This technology just isn’t enough

Your malice is too thick for the antennae to receive

You resort to your presence, the most deadly attack

I can now see the anger

I can now feel the rage

You can now smell my fear

You can now taste my defeat

In your mind, the only way to be happy is through pain

You must rid yourself from any hindrance

I’ve gotten too close; you glimpsed what happiness should be

I saw it in your smile and heard it in your laugh

It was there, but it has to go, we have to go, I have to go

what renovating means to me:

Rusty nails to the max
Enough soot inhaled to collapse a lung
No electricity
Only 3 walls in the bathroom
Vacuum de Shop saves the day
Always step on the rafters
Trash bags full of insulation
Every man for himself

so sick, so sick of being tired, and o so tired of being sick

2 hours of sleep last night, i'm making progress. this morning my mom finally realized how stupid it was for me to even be coming to school in the morning, because i would go there only to sit 3 BLOCKS in the gym. yea thats 4 and a half hours(not counting the 30 minutes for lunch) in a loud, hot, idiot infested high school gymnasium, sitting on the most uncomfortable bleachers ever created. i've spent alot of quality time on those damn bleachers this week. thus i have concluded that if they were any narrower, we wouldn't be able to sit/lay on them w/out falling off every time; if they were any wider, we would be able to sit/lay on them ALMOST comfortably. they're perfectly uncomfortable. as i was saying, i had permission to leave after we took 1st block roll, but josh didn't wake up till like the 3rd or 4th time i called, which was at 7:30. we were going to be dismissed at a little after 8. he lives 25 minutes from school and still had to shower and stuff. he didn't make it and of course today was like the only day hitler(vice principal) came in the gym, just as we were making progress in sneaking out(ok we were standing in the middle of the gym admiring the talent show equipment, when everyone who was really sposed to be setting up left. so we lost). due to exam complications, we didn't get to leave till like 11:30; went and got lunch and watched some of the notebook. i miss hangin out w/him like that so bad since he's been grounded. he gets ungrounded monday, but he says things aren't going to change (cause there is this small restriction his parents gave him having to do w/me,to sum it up- he's never suposed to associate w/me ever again). i dunno, we're young and stupid and just wont give up i guess. anyways, the talent show was really good...paul, you so rocked! you, paul sisson, and joel pretty much WERE the talent show, lol. makes me really look forward to the lit mag though. the drumline kicked ass too(michael, you should have played!). theres lots more to tell, but i'm goin back to bed.

random ramblings of the sleepless mind

i got 1 hour of sleep last night, yes 1, 60 minutes....and i blame it all on the fact josh finally got his phone back sunday...yea,and his mom circled where it said 270 min. for one call between us on the last bill,i'm pretty sure we went a few minutes past that last night(how ironic, he just came to the door)...<-typed that this morning during 2nd block.

anyways, i went to bed at a little after 5 am, woke up at a little after 6am; finally got to take a nap at 5 pm...i asked to be woken up a few hours later, upon which my sister deemed it necessary to come in at 7, lean entirely too close to my face, and scream,scream scream scream loud loud loud. if i wasn't so out of it, i would have kicked her in the throat(ok i'm not really the violent type). needless to say, i need sleep.

rant-everyday i hate our educational system more and more. can graduation not come any sooner? i am now praying daily that i can work it out to where i graduate in the fall.::crosses fingers::

funny-i have somehow been sucked into some drama(no, not like a play) at school. some guy supposedly named "josh" called some girl(that i dont even know, dont think she even goes to our school or anything) and said something kind of rude. i was asked the next day if it was my josh, whereas i explained that that was impossible at the time seeing as he didn't have his phone, didn't have access to a phone, and was sick so he had gone straight home and went to sleep, not waking til the next morning.<-that was last week, by today the story is now-i know this girl from somewhere and i have recently talked to her, saying that it was probably josh that called. its only humorous because the ppl spreading this dont even talk to me; on top of that, anyone that knows me knows that i dont talk to many ppl in the first place(purposely), much less get myself involved in stupid isht like that. i mean come on, i have enough of my own right? why would i want some one elses? gotta love high school drama

i'm eating "cheese and sour cream" chips w/sour cream. is that legal?

i bought this cd today at target...$5.99...OMG HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?!?! i <3 JEFFERSON AIRPLANE!!!!!!!

heck yes!

"One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall."

shit ass bitch ass shit of a cousin=me

today i failed at everything, i suck at life

Let me crawl into your lap and just lay here for awhile
Satisfied by your seduction like a handshake would do the job
Never know how long I have waited, anticipated your smile to be
pressed against mine
Well I feel it. (oh boy) and I'm gonna settle tight

i'm in a glass box of emotion!!!!

ok so i'm a little angry...107.7 the x is being the monopoly bitch it is and has taken over z100.5...this sucks because i have(well had) recently given up hope on the x because all they did in the morning was talk and when they finally played music, it was the same songs over and over forever and ever, not even really good songs usually-but if it was good then they were definitely going to play it out until it lost its goodness. 100.5 played awesome music too, that 107.7 never played-death cab, postal service, snow patrol, straylight run, kings of leon, tegan and sara,rilo kiley, citizen cope, ben folds, and taking back sunday.::sigh:: i guess this is why i dont normally listen to the radio...geez louise

need this for my presentation at skool...will delete soon, dont worry 

she just found out about the guy that crapped himself in laser tag that was then bowling on lane 1....yea, poop

ok so maybe we were dancing...

w00t!

aawwee!

maranda, ryan, emily

Walking forwards in the sun,And I've got a cold tale left to write

been back about 5 hours...2 ppl pissed off (at me) and counting. new record, maybe? anyways, the trip was pretty fun, got to see some ppl i havent seen in about 7 months-entirely too long. had a great flea market adventure(found a really old sonny and cher record that my mom's goin to make into a purse). went to a basketball game, of course one of my former stalkers(whom one of my friends convinced i had movied to alaska) showed up, i dont think he noticed me though-thank god. introduced eternal sunshine of the spotless mind to a few ppl. ended it w/some bowling. fun fun fun i spose i'll post some pics

And honey, when you walk my way
It makes me wanna say...
Ohhh

Sha-la-la-lo, sha-la-la-lo
Sha-la-la-lo, sha-la-la-lo